| Learn to Roll with Life's Punches and Bounce | | | | approach to caregiving isn't working right? |
| BackWhat can the martial arts teach | | | | Any Alzheimer's caregiver knows that |
| Alzheimer's family caregivers? Plenty. One | | | | mistakes, challenges, and frustrations are |
| powerful lesson comes from Aikido, a | | | | inevitable.And you know what makes that |
| powerful, ethical,dynamic and beautiful | | | | simple setback worse? It's that good old |
| martial art. Aikido means: "The Way of | | | | human tendency to get upset because you made |
| Harmonizing Energy." Aikido practitioners | | | | a mistake. We are expert at tormenting |
| learn to blend and steer an opponent's force | | | | ourselves by getting distressed, angry |
| to safely control a situation. In the | | | | anxious, nervous, worried, or whatever- just |
| process of training we learn a lot about | | | | because we ran into a frustration. That's |
| ourselves as well.One thing that we learn in | | | | the way in which we tighten up emotionally as |
| Aikido is ukemi (pronounced ooh-keh-mee) | | | | we fall. And we know what pain that can lead |
| training. Ukemi is the art of falling down | | | | to. Sound familiar?So, how can we roll with |
| safely. It is important to learn how to fall | | | | caregiving's punches?1. Expect to fall, to |
| in this martial art, so that you don't get | | | | be frustrated at times. It is inevitable in |
| hurt when you are thrown. Basically, injury | | | | life, and even more unavoidable for a |
| to yourself is not the result of being thrown | | | | caregiver.2. Perfect your own personal |
| hard, it's the effect of falling poorly. | | | | emotional ukemi training. Stubbornly refuse |
| Knowing how to fall well is essential for | | | | to torture yourself about your mistake. |
| those times when you are thrown. You can | | | | Learn to relax when you are frustrated.3. |
| spend a lifetime perfecting this skill. And | | | | Find ways to remind yourself that it's OK to |
| you might as well. Take it from me: | | | | make mistakes, and that the important thing |
| Gravity Always Wins.In everyday life, when we | | | | is to relax, get your balance, and get back |
| fall down, we automatically tighten up our | | | | up. You could make a sign that says something |
| bodies, and increase the risk of injury. In | | | | like "Relax," or "Balance," and hang it where |
| ukemi trraining, we learn to gradually relax | | | | you can see it. make more than one.4. Don't |
| and let go of tension, even as we fall. This | | | | ignore your signs once they are up. When you |
| training leads to much softer impact, and a | | | | pass your sign, stop a minute, and rehearse |
| much happier Aikido-ist. Falling begins to | | | | its message. That's the way advertising |
| feel more like floating, and less like | | | | works.5. Get in the habit of rewarding |
| crashing.Now, am I sugesting that you drop | | | | yourself not for being perfect, and not just |
| everything and go enroll in Aikido classes? | | | | when things are going along smoothly. |
| Of course not! But you can adopt the | | | | Instead, celebrate that you got back up to |
| philosophy of falling well. What is the | | | | try again.6. If you are comfortable, try |
| lesson of ukemi training for life? Putting | | | | sharing this radical philosophy with |
| aside the martial arts reasons for training, | | | | others.7. Remember: it's not the mistake |
| IN LIFE WE CONSTANTLY FALL DOWN! And | | | | that stops you. It's your decision to stop |
| caregiving is a continual challenge filled | | | | that stops you.8. Finally, keep in mind a |
| with even more sudden throws, and many | | | | wise old Buddhist saying:"if you fall down |
| expected and unexpected falls.So we need to | | | | seven times, get up eight times."I trained |
| learn to fall with grace.Think about it. If | | | | for years with a very remarkable person who |
| a person is bound and determined to never | | | | was also a caregiver. When I would see him |
| ever waver, to never try a different | | | | and ask how he was doing, he'd smile and say, |
| approach, what will happen when she hits an | | | | "I'm still taking ukemi." And then we'd |
| obstacle? What will happen when her usual | | | | train. I wish you good ukemi! |