| Jeffrey M.Miller
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| | and desire for purpose, power, and
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| My studentsand clients have constantly
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| | interdependence (as opposed to dependence
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| heard me stress that our Martial Art is
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| | or co-dependence) in their affiliations.
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| more than just a physical discipline;
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| | Many lifelong friendships have begun in
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| that it is a discipline that develops
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| | the dojo ("martial arts training hall").
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| both the mind and body. This is so
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| | Here are some tips on how to choose
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| important that Soke Masaaki Hatsumi, the
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| | friends that might be right for you.
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| grand master of our lineages, has made it
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| the primary thrust of just about every
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| | 1. Look for people who share the same
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| one of his books about Ninpo and Martial
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| | basic values that you do. The Martial
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| Arts in general.
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| | arts teach certain values and principles
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| The presence of mind that your training
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| | that you should know to look for.
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| demands helps you make wise and
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| | Honesty, respect, individuality - these
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| thoughtful decisions. Often, these
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| | are all good qualities that a lot of
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| decisions involve choosing others as
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| | people share. Having friends with these
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| friends - and all of us would like to
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| | qualities will make it a lot easier for
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| choose good friends - people we can
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| | you to feel relaxed and at ease when
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| consider real "team players."
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| | you're with them. You want to develop
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| It's sometimes very mysterious why we
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| | friendships that will be both fun and
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| choose who we do as team players. Often
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| | rewarding - mutually beneficial to all
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| we like a person right away based on some
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| | parties involved. One person should
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| intuitive thought or feeling. When
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| | never carry the burden of trying to make
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| asked, we say that it just "felt" right.
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| | a relationship "work."
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| Other times we may observe someone for a
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| | 2. Look for people who respect your
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| while with admiration, and build up to a
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| | decisions. Your friends will have
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| formal introduction.
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| | different tastes than you do. They
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| Friendship is a wonderful thing and is
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| | should respect your freedom of choice,
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| vitally important for personal growth and
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| | just as you should respect theirs.
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| success. It can be found on the Ninja's
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| | Sometimes you may feel that a friend is
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| Kongokai mandala used in Japanese Mikkyo
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| | not making a positive choice. Discuss
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| esoteric mind-science training. Found in
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| | these issues. Nothing is more important
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| the 'wind' realm which represents
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| | to friendship than communication and
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| surrendering oneself to a greater good
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| | honesty. Discuss things with parents or
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| where the total result produced is equal
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| | significant others and your instructor(s)
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| to much more than just the sum of the
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| | as well.
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| parts added together.
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| | 3. Look for people who are real team
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| Friendship itself is sometimes sparked by
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| | players. You know what that means:
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| what we call "vibes," or a strange and
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| | people who are willing to stick by you
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| electric power of attraction. This is
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| | through thick and thin, who will be there
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| what gives it such a terrific and
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| | when you need them, and will show you the
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| seemingly magical power to tie people
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| | understanding that you in turn give back.
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| together so closely. All the same, our
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| | A friend you know you can depend on is
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| first impressions can often be mistaken.
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| | one you will probably have for life.
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| We've all made mistakes before in the
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| | There will be times when you feel that a
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| friends we've chosen. Often, we'd like
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| | friend of yours is consistently making
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| to ignore, forget, or believe that we had
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| | bad choices, or is not treating you with
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| anything to do with the selection, but we
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| | respect. The Ninja Warrior takes pride
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| shouldn't. It's these lessons that
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| | in understanding: try to see where your
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| remind us that we are human and make
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| | friend is coming from, and try to resolve
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| mistakes, as-well-as the fact that not
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| | any differences you might have. Don't be
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| everyone we meet will enter into a
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| | afraid to talk to your parents, spouse,
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| relationship (whether business, personal,
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| | or your instructor. They have the
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| etc.), for the same reasons that we do.
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| | benefit of experience, and are always
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| It's not right or wrong - good or bad.
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| | looking out for your best interests.
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| It's just life.
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| | There are very few things as precious as
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| There's really no way to be 100% certain
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| | having good friends, and you should not
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| that everyone, or anyone, you choose as a
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| | let them go easily. Hold onto your
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| friend will turn out to be a good team
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| | friendships; let them know you value them
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| player. But, the Martial Arts Academy
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| | and do your best to solve problems as
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| 'is' a terrific place to meet new people,
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| | quickly as they arise. Trust your
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| especially those with many of the same
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| | instincts and follow your heart!
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| interests, and often with the same focus
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