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Article #176: The Importance of Friendship

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Jeffrey M.Miller and desire for purpose, power, and
My studentsand clients have constantly interdependence (as opposed to dependence
heard me stress that our Martial Art is or co-dependence) in their affiliations.
more than just a physical discipline; Many lifelong friendships have begun in
that it is a discipline that develops the dojo ("martial arts training hall").
both the mind and body. This is so Here are some tips on how to choose
important that Soke Masaaki Hatsumi, the friends that might be right for you.
grand master of our lineages, has made it
the primary thrust of just about every 1. Look for people who share the same
one of his books about Ninpo and Martial basic values that you do. The Martial
Arts in general. arts teach certain values and principles
The presence of mind that your training that you should know to look for.
demands helps you make wise and Honesty, respect, individuality - these
thoughtful decisions. Often, these are all good qualities that a lot of
decisions involve choosing others as people share. Having friends with these
friends - and all of us would like to qualities will make it a lot easier for
choose good friends - people we can you to feel relaxed and at ease when
consider real "team players." you're with them. You want to develop
It's sometimes very mysterious why we friendships that will be both fun and
choose who we do as team players. Often rewarding - mutually beneficial to all
we like a person right away based on some parties involved. One person should
intuitive thought or feeling. When never carry the burden of trying to make
asked, we say that it just "felt" right. a relationship "work."
Other times we may observe someone for a 2. Look for people who respect your
while with admiration, and build up to a decisions. Your friends will have
formal introduction. different tastes than you do. They
Friendship is a wonderful thing and is should respect your freedom of choice,
vitally important for personal growth and just as you should respect theirs.
success. It can be found on the Ninja's Sometimes you may feel that a friend is
Kongokai mandala used in Japanese Mikkyo not making a positive choice. Discuss
esoteric mind-science training. Found in these issues. Nothing is more important
the 'wind' realm which represents to friendship than communication and
surrendering oneself to a greater good honesty. Discuss things with parents or
where the total result produced is equal significant others and your instructor(s)
to much more than just the sum of the as well.
parts added together. 3. Look for people who are real team
Friendship itself is sometimes sparked by players. You know what that means:
what we call "vibes," or a strange and people who are willing to stick by you
electric power of attraction. This is through thick and thin, who will be there
what gives it such a terrific and when you need them, and will show you the
seemingly magical power to tie people understanding that you in turn give back.
together so closely. All the same, our A friend you know you can depend on is
first impressions can often be mistaken. one you will probably have for life.
We've all made mistakes before in the There will be times when you feel that a
friends we've chosen. Often, we'd like friend of yours is consistently making
to ignore, forget, or believe that we had bad choices, or is not treating you with
anything to do with the selection, but we respect. The Ninja Warrior takes pride
shouldn't. It's these lessons that in understanding: try to see where your
remind us that we are human and make friend is coming from, and try to resolve
mistakes, as-well-as the fact that not any differences you might have. Don't be
everyone we meet will enter into a afraid to talk to your parents, spouse,
relationship (whether business, personal, or your instructor. They have the
etc.), for the same reasons that we do. benefit of experience, and are always
It's not right or wrong - good or bad. looking out for your best interests.
It's just life. There are very few things as precious as
There's really no way to be 100% certain having good friends, and you should not
that everyone, or anyone, you choose as a let them go easily. Hold onto your
friend will turn out to be a good team friendships; let them know you value them
player. But, the Martial Arts Academy and do your best to solve problems as
'is' a terrific place to meet new people, quickly as they arise. Trust your
especially those with many of the same instincts and follow your heart!
interests, and often with the same focus






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