| Jeffrey M.Miller | | | | and desire for purpose, power, and |
| My studentsand clients have constantly heard me | | | | interdependence (as opposed to dependence or |
| stress that our Martial Art is more than just a | | | | co-dependence) in their affiliations. Many lifelong |
| physical discipline; that it is a discipline that | | | | friendships have begun in the dojo ("martial arts |
| develops both the mind and body. This is so | | | | training hall"). Here are some tips on how to |
| important that Soke Masaaki Hatsumi, the grand | | | | choose friends that might be right for you. |
| master of our lineages, has made it the primary | | | | |
| thrust of just about every one of his books | | | | 1. Look for people who share the same basic |
| about Ninpo and Martial Arts in general. | | | | values that you do. The Martial arts teach certain |
| The presence of mind that your training demands | | | | values and principles that you should know to look |
| helps you make wise and thoughtful decisions. | | | | for. Honesty, respect, individuality - these are all |
| Often, these decisions involve choosing others as | | | | good qualities that a lot of people share. Having |
| friends - and all of us would like to choose good | | | | friends with these qualities will make it a lot easier |
| friends - people we can consider real "team | | | | for you to feel relaxed and at ease when you're |
| players." | | | | with them. You want to develop friendships that |
| It's sometimes very mysterious why we choose | | | | will be both fun and rewarding - mutually beneficial |
| who we do as team players. Often we like a | | | | to all parties involved. One person should never |
| person right away based on some intuitive | | | | carry the burden of trying to make a relationship |
| thought or feeling. When asked, we say that it | | | | "work." |
| just "felt" right. Other times we may observe | | | | 2. Look for people who respect your decisions. |
| someone for a while with admiration, and build up | | | | Your friends will have different tastes than you |
| to a formal introduction. | | | | do. They should respect your freedom of choice, |
| Friendship is a wonderful thing and is vitally | | | | just as you should respect theirs. Sometimes you |
| important for personal growth and success. It can | | | | may feel that a friend is not making a positive |
| be found on the Ninja's Kongokai mandala used in | | | | choice. Discuss these issues. Nothing is more |
| Japanese Mikkyo esoteric mind-science training. | | | | important to friendship than communication and |
| Found in the 'wind' realm which represents | | | | honesty. Discuss things with parents or significant |
| surrendering oneself to a greater good where the | | | | others and your instructor(s) as well. |
| total result produced is equal to much more than | | | | 3. Look for people who are real team players. |
| just the sum of the parts added together. | | | | You know what that means: people who are |
| Friendship itself is sometimes sparked by what | | | | willing to stick by you through thick and thin, who |
| we call "vibes," or a strange and electric power of | | | | will be there when you need them, and will show |
| attraction. This is what gives it such a terrific and | | | | you the understanding that you in turn give back. |
| seemingly magical power to tie people together | | | | A friend you know you can depend on is one you |
| so closely. All the same, our first impressions can | | | | will probably have for life. |
| often be mistaken. We've all made mistakes | | | | There will be times when you feel that a friend of |
| before in the friends we've chosen. Often, we'd | | | | yours is consistently making bad choices, or is not |
| like to ignore, forget, or believe that we had | | | | treating you with respect. The Ninja Warrior takes |
| anything to do with the selection, but we shouldn't. | | | | pride in understanding: try to see where your |
| It's these lessons that remind us that we are | | | | friend is coming from, and try to resolve any |
| human and make mistakes, as-well-as the fact | | | | differences you might have. Don't be afraid to |
| that not everyone we meet will enter into a | | | | talk to your parents, spouse, or your instructor. |
| relationship (whether business, personal, etc.), for | | | | They have the benefit of experience, and are |
| the same reasons that we do. It's not right or | | | | always looking out for your best interests. There |
| wrong - good or bad. It's just life. | | | | are very few things as precious as having good |
| There's really no way to be 100% certain that | | | | friends, and you should not let them go easily. |
| everyone, or anyone, you choose as a friend will | | | | Hold onto your friendships; let them know you |
| turn out to be a good team player. But, the | | | | value them and do your best to solve problems |
| Martial Arts Academy 'is' a terrific place to meet | | | | as quickly as they arise. Trust your instincts and |
| new people, especially those with many of the | | | | follow your heart! |
| same interests, and often with the same focus | | | | |