| What does self confidence mean? For me, self | | | | I'm unfamiliar with or a social event or a business |
| confidence is the ability to believe in myself. It is | | | | mixer, new people and a new environment can |
| having the faith that I can accomplish what I set | | | | unnerve me. Maybe this happens to you too. So |
| out to do. Now at times this doesn't happen as | | | | what can you do to counteract this fear? Well |
| soon as I attempt to do something. More often | | | | I've found that the reason I get nervous is |
| than not I find that I need to improve my skills | | | | because I'm allowing my imagination to run wild in |
| and get more information so that I can succeed, | | | | the wrong direction. When I'm fearful it's because |
| but the key point is that I believe that with the | | | | I'm allowing my mind to see a negative view of |
| right information and persistence I can succeed. | | | | what might happen. I also find myself focusing on |
| To me, this is self confidence. | | | | myself. I've found that instead of thinking what I |
| Self confidence is directly linked to our self | | | | should say to impress, just saying "hi" and asking |
| esteem. Self-esteem is the appraisal or worth a | | | | questions can make for a great conversation. |
| person gives themselves. This worth or lack of it | | | | I've also found that controlling my imagination is a |
| is best viewed through a person's behavior. | | | | great way to counteract the fear of "making a |
| Everything in our lives is determined by how we | | | | fool of myself" while mingling with new people in a |
| feel about ourselves. | | | | new environment. Now instead of letting my mind |
| So what prevents us from being self confident? | | | | drift off to the isle of fear I steer my imagination |
| What keep us from feeling good about ourselves? | | | | to where I want it to go. I do this by using my |
| I think it all boils down to being afraid. This fear | | | | creative imagination to think of a scene where I |
| comes not knowing what the outcome of some | | | | am comfortable, like being at the home of a |
| action we take might be. So when it comes right | | | | friend or a place that I frequent often and the |
| down to it the unknown is at the root of all our | | | | people know me. Then I "watch" myself as I |
| fears. | | | | casually interact with the people I know. I "see' |
| Fear is nearly always a result of our thinking. We | | | | myself saying hello to every new person I meet. |
| are only born with two basic fears, the fear of | | | | In this way I use my creative imagination to calm |
| falling and the fear of loud noises. All other fears | | | | my mind and to move me toward success. |
| are what psychologists call "learned fears". Once | | | | You can also use hypnosis and visualization |
| we've learned these fears our habitual way of | | | | techniques to help you with this as well as many |
| thinking can take us in directions we don't want to | | | | other areas of your life. I know that it has |
| go. If we allow our minds to dwell on what might | | | | worked very well for me. Through the |
| go wrong, our minds will find ways of making | | | | visualization process I found that I was better |
| things go wrong. When I've examined my | | | | able to work toward the goals I wanted to |
| "failures" I've found that it's a result of me | | | | achieve and also I found that I could think through |
| focusing on all the things that might go wrong. | | | | the steps I needed to do to make my goals a |
| When I do this I'm not running my brain. My | | | | reality. |
| doubts and fears are running me. I've discovered | | | | If you want to feel better about yourself make a |
| that when left unchecked, this type of thinking | | | | list of the things you are good at. Make a list of |
| can spiral out of control until fear starts to control | | | | your accomplishments, graduating from high |
| my thinking in every area of my life. | | | | school or college, winning a race in the third grade, |
| On the other hand, if I take charge of my | | | | a business accomplishment, everything big and |
| thoughts, and force my mind to focus on my | | | | small that you have done. Also, focus on your |
| targets I can overcome my fears. I believe that I | | | | strengths, what you do well and remember that |
| can do this better today because I have a good | | | | you can be successful. This can allow you to |
| idea of what makes me afraid. I also know how | | | | become solution focused and help you |
| to counteract this fear. | | | | concentrate on the results you want. |
| One of the things I've found that make me | | | | How to you talk to yourself? Are you giving |
| fearful are memoires. When I focus on memories | | | | yourself positive self talk? When you do |
| of past failures I become fearful. As any | | | | something right, tell yourself about it. I've found |
| professional athlete can attest to, this is the death | | | | that oftentimes if I don't give myself positive |
| knoll for any type of success. A method I use to | | | | feedback nobody else will either. Also learn to |
| combat this is redefining or reframing these past | | | | squash negative self talk. When I find myself |
| "failures" as learning opportunities or feedback. For | | | | talking negatively, telling myself how I messed up |
| example when I opened a second location for my | | | | or focusing on what I did wrong, that canceling it |
| martial arts business many years ago it didn't | | | | out in the moment, by saying "cancel, cancel" to |
| work out. Every month my second location lost | | | | myself can help get my mind back on the right |
| money and eventfully the guy that I had hand | | | | track. |
| picked to run it quit. He then opened a competing | | | | Finally, you don't need to play it safe. Recognize |
| school about a mile down the road taking all my | | | | that in order to grow you are going to need to |
| students with him. That business venture could be | | | | take some risks. There is a saying in NLP, "there |
| labeled a "failure." Instead I examined what went | | | | is no failure but rather only feedback". You have |
| wrong and used it for feedback. As a result, I | | | | to take risks to be fully human. Like I mentioned |
| learned how to develop business systems that | | | | above, life doesn't have to be a win lose situation. |
| could make any martial arts school run smoothly. | | | | You can define everything in life as a learning |
| Another thing that can make me fearful is going | | | | situation. Once you do this you'll find yourself |
| to new places. I don't know about you but when I | | | | better able to take the kind of risks that will open |
| go someplace I'm unfamiliar with I get a little | | | | doors in every area of your life. Then you'll see |
| nervous. It doesn't matter if it's a new Yoga class | | | | your confidence soar. |