| It was Michael Tyson's second day at our | | | | foot. Shaolin Kung Fu is that powerful, Tyson. |
| Kung-Fu school and I took a hard look at him. He | | | | "Hey, buddy, I came here to be a fighter - I don't |
| was built like King Kong, was as hairy as King | | | | wanna be no weight-lugging porter, my friend!" |
| Kong, sported Mr. T's hairstyle, but he had Oprah | | | | Tyson continued his rocking and rolling. |
| Winfrey's puckered lips and Michael Jackson's | | | | Well, it was my Shaolin Kung Fu training that |
| kohl-lined eyes. This made me a wee bit | | | | helped me maintain my cool. Otherwise, Michael |
| suspicious of his intentions, but I was in full | | | | Tyson would have been toast by now with a lot |
| concentration mode as I began teaching him | | | | of jam on him, "Tyson, please pay attention - So |
| some basic Shaolin Kung Fu tips. | | | | far, you have learned that in Shaolin Kung Fu, you |
| "Tyson, in Shaolin Kung Fu, the Chi (breath) must | | | | have to focus on your breath and your body |
| unite with the Li (force). Do not lose focus, | | | | movements while observing and connecting with |
| because the brain must coordinate with the heart, | | | | the five elements of nature. Now here's the |
| the heart must coordinate with the mind and the | | | | fourth tip: Shaolin Kung Fu requires you to be an |
| mind must dictate the way you breathe. | | | | expert in fist work. You must move your arms in |
| Persevere and you will be rewarded." I began | | | | such a way that the enemy cannot get sight of |
| educating Tyson. | | | | your fist. Your arms and fists must move at the |
| "Man, you just sound like my Grandma when | | | | speed of light and for that to happen, you will |
| she's chanting hymns at the church! Ha, ha!" | | | | have to train your sinews in such a way that |
| Tyson guffawed, his lips vibrating, his eyes filled | | | | when you punch, your arm must glide like a bird |
| with merriment. Hmm, Tyson was a casual | | | | landing on a lake." |
| customer. | | | | "Sure, leg movements are important too: In fact, |
| I smiled back, "Thanks for that, Tyson. In Shaolin | | | | there are seven kinds of leg movements in |
| Kung Fu, it is necessary for the body to be agile, | | | | Shaolin Kung Fu, but we'll come to them later on." |
| swift and packed with energy. The movement of | | | | I continued. |
| all parts of the body must be coordinated and | | | | "Got any cool underarm movements, eh, Balboa |
| you must focus on your body movements. If | | | | boy?" Tyson sniggered, looking at me with |
| you move forward one step, your hand should | | | | come-hither eyes. I wished he'd get pregnant and |
| move, too, in rhythm. Even when you strike, do | | | | go away. |
| not focus on your fist or the force you put | | | | "Okay, Tyson, this is your last tip for the day: In |
| behind it - just concentrate on your body rhythm. | | | | Shaolin Kung Fu, your eyes, ears and heart must |
| Understood?" | | | | be in perfect rhythm. Your eyes must follow the |
| "Dude, is this a ballet school or what? Ha, ha!" | | | | enemy's movements and your ears should be |
| Tyson laughed, his lips puckering even more. A | | | | sharp enough to detect the slightest of sounds - |
| little bird flew inside my brain and told me Tyson | | | | this, while your heart is steady, cool and calm. If |
| was an irreverent type. | | | | you are able to achieve this state, you will not |
| "Thanks again, Tyson. Now, pay attention: In | | | | make mistakes. That's enough for today Tyson, |
| Shaolin King Fu, the five elements of nature - | | | | class over. Now join me for a round of Shaolin |
| wood, fire, earth, metal and water form a unique | | | | Kung Fu sparring." |
| fusion during a fight. You must observe them and | | | | "Hey Balboa, whatever you say! Hee, hee" Tyson |
| the arrangement of the universe around us. When | | | | said grinning ear to ear, not knowing what was |
| you practice Shaolin Kung Fu, you will one day | | | | coming at him. |
| understand that your Chi (breath) can influence | | | | That was the last time Tyson ever fooled around |
| these five elements. When you reach that level of | | | | in Kung Fu class. And in case you are wondering, |
| realization, you will be able to move very heavy | | | | no, I didn't kill him - but that's another story. |
| objects with one movement of your hand or | | | | |